Lyssna och utmana!

För två veckor sedan träffade jag en person för första gången. Mitt arbete går ut på att coacha den här personen att nå sitt mål. Vad målet behöver jag inte ens säga för oavsett mål så handlar det mer om att hitta drivkraften att nå målet. Målet i sig kan vara vad som helst.

Hur som helst. Jag träffade denna kvinnan. Jag slog på mitt aktiva lyssnande. Jag ställde frågor men mestadels lyssnade jag på vad hon hade att berätta. Hon berättade att hon hade svårt och lita på personer på grund av massa skit som hänt bakåt i tiden. Hon berättade inte vad, men på sättet hon berättade det förstod jag att det var något riktigt illa hon varit med om. Förmodligen flera gånger. När vi började närma oss slutet av den timmen vi hade avsatt frågade jag vad hon vill framåt. För första gången sedan vi började prata lös hennes ögon när hon berättade om sitt mål. Jag frågade hur det kommer kännas när hon uppnår målet? (Notera frågan, inte ”om” utan ”när”) Hon berättade att det skulle kännas som en stor vinst för henne själv. Hon skulle lysa av självförtroende. Jag såg att drivkraften fanns där, den gäller det att ta till vara på tänkte jag. Innan vi lämnade varandra tänkte jag testa henne lite, så jag frågade vad hon tänkte göra tills nästa gång för att komma närmare sitt mål. ”Jag ska ringa två viktiga samtal” svarade hon. Bra sa jag, gör du det så lovar jag att kolla upp det där vi pratade om innan och ge dig all information nästa gång vi ses. Ska vi säga så? Det gjorde vi och lämnade varandra.

En vecka senare möttes vi igen. Vi snackade lite först innan jag frågade hur det hade gått med samtalen? Hon hade inte gjort något. Egentligen inte något alls för att komma närmare sitt mål. Okej sa jag, utan att värdera det hon precis sagt. Den där informationen du ville ha, jag har skrivit ned den till dig här och jag tänkte att vi skulle gå igenom den. Jag såg hur hon var lätt förvånad. Noggrant och sakligt gick vi igenom det. Vi pratade vidare om hennes mål osv. Efter en timme lämnade vi varandra, denna gången sa jag ingenting om att vi skulle göra något tills nästa gång.

Tjugo minuter senare ringde hon upp. Berättade med en lite lätt uppspelt röst att hon ringt de två samtalen direkt efter vårt möte och den ene varit positiv i hennes förfrågan och dem skulle äta lunch snart.

Vad var det som hände? Varför hade hon helt plötsligt hittat drivet att göra samtalen? Jag har en teori;

Jag tror att hon blev så förvånad över att någon brydde sig så pass mycket, lyssnade utan att värdera och framförallt höll vad han lovat. Jag tror att hon där och då fick förtroende och tillit för mig. Det var det som behövdes för att ta ett steg, eller kanske två. Naturligtvis är hon inte i mål ännu. Men vi tillsammans har en god grund att stå på. Hon har visat för sig själv att hon kan ta steg framåt, det om något är motiverande!

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